Showing articles tagged New York Times

Day Eighteen

Plans/dreams/goals you have

I have so many plans, dreams and goals and intend to put them into action.  Or think about them.  What was this topic again? Cheese?

I'd like to return to a weight in double digits. To do this I would need to maybe not eat as many whole roast suckling boars for breakfast. And not to keep deep frying my Pepsi. Which I might be willing to do.

I'd like to write books. Real, bona fide paper, bound books.  And for lots of people to buy them.  To have a New York Times bestseller. And a big, full bank account.  I mean it's all about the art of course, but BITCH, WHERE MY MONEY???

I want to DJ overseas.  Canada for some reason is a place I feel drawn to.  Might be a Mountie thing.  Or more likely a bacon thing.  Oh, and the music. It's totally about the music. Probably.

I'd like to kill and eat kidnap and put in a cupboard meet Jason Statham.  He's a handsome individual and although he seems to exhibit staunchly heterosexual behaviour at present I fail to see how he could resist falling for a hairy tubby balding DJ with a Dannii Minogue obsession.  Dudes totally dig that shizz.  And Seb Statham has a nice ring to it. 

Finally I'd like to overcome depression and anxiety.  Imagine how annoying I could be then, feeling all happy and together.  And I could probably go outside and collect the underpants that have faded to nothing on the washing line.  Yes. I aim high.