Showing articles tagged Baaaad Cooking
Day Nine
Something You're Proud Of In The Past Few Days
I'm proud of one of my recent kitchen successes. I'm not really what one could describe as confident or necessarily 'talented' in the culinary domain. It's no doubt linked to my phobia of supermarkets and grocery shopping but there is the odd occasion when someone brings over some staple supplies and I bravely launch myself at the nearest chopping board and hope for the best.
This is sometimes a good thing and the results can exceed all expectations. The problem is that it mostly ends up in the bin after failed attempts at salvaging the monstrosity I've just 'created.'
Since the age of 15, I have been the proud inventor of:
- Frittata AKA Accidental Ham & Asparagus Spongecake.
- Scrambled Eggs with bonus Megacrunch™ Eggshell Shards.
- Burned Candied Satay Whatthefucks
- Rubber 'I Can't Believe This Was Once Chicken' Curry.
- Roasted Firebomb Chicken Breast With Patented 'Gasmask' Garlic sauce.
- Salty Salt Soup with Salt.
- Gluten Free Vegetable Loaf with Surprise Rice Flour Centre.
- Stir-Fried Silken Tofu aka Plate Of Hot Yellow Goo with Undercooked Greens
- Gluten Free Blackened Pizza with Carcinogens.
- Light Grey Salted Greek Yoghurt & Blueberry Blend.
- Shrunken Dry Gemfish Fillet with TinyBones™
- Doorstop Muffins.
- Sandy Broccoli and Ultra Salty Soy Sauce Substitute Stir Fry
- Less-Chilli-Has-Been-Used-As-A-Torture-Method Nasi Goreng
- Vegetable and Beef Chinese Stir-Burn.
- Taco-my-god-these-are-vile.
And a time honoured classic....
- We're Going To Have To Bin This Saucepan Rice.
That last one is expensive and isn't really a share house favourite.
But...
Last Sunday I made Fairy Bread for a 4 year old's birthday party. And it was devoured by those kiddies, down to the very last tiny candy speckle.
Bolstered by this amazing success I decided to make Satay Chicken and Noodle Stir Fry on Wednesday night as I was having friends over. We ended up having to get takeaway and I may have invented a new dish called 'Slimy Sour Peanut Yurg' but nonetheless the pride felt from my fairy bread triumph remains.