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There's so many witty nicknames that can be derived from the name Sebastian.  Let me post them for you, in a handy bullet-style list. I know. How good am I to you guys? Merry Christmas!

• Seb
• Sebs
• Sebby
• Sebster
• Sebalicious
• Seb-a-stain
• Sebaceous
• Sebmeister

All of these have been bestowed upon me by friends and co-workers.

As a DJ I initially had the moniker of 'DJ Kinky'.  Here's why.

I was sharing a house with a close friend, James.  We had a common wall between our bedrooms.  I had a 'night visitor' that playfully asked me to hit him with his belt.  So I did.  He laughed a little and said 'harder'.  Poor James was huddled under the covers in the foetal position by this time, trying not to listen to the perverted sounds coming from the next room.

Suddenly he heard an almighty cracking sound, followed by a man yelling in pain.  Then the slamming of a door, and the thundering footsteps of the same man running to the bathroom. Then the following conversation - 

"You fucking drew blood! Fuck!!"

"You said HARDER"

"Fuck you!"

"YOU said HARDER"

*muffled getting dressed noises, more stomping, front door slamming*

Then poor James, who had no doubt now been scarred for life bravely opened his bedroom door and peered into the hallway, to see me slumped against the wall, clutching my stomach, crying with laughter.

"Hey Kinky.." said James.

And the rest, as they say, is history. 

I have so many plans, dreams and goals and intend to put them into action.  Or think about them.  What was this topic again? Cheese?

I'd like to return to a weight in double digits. To do this I would need to maybe not eat as many whole roast suckling boars for breakfast. And not to keep deep frying my Pepsi. Which I might be willing to do.

I'd like to write books. Real, bona fide paper, bound books.  And for lots of people to buy them.  To have a New York Times bestseller. And a big, full bank account.  I mean it's all about the art of course, but BITCH, WHERE MY MONEY???

I want to DJ overseas.  Canada for some reason is a place I feel drawn to.  Might be a Mountie thing.  Or more likely a bacon thing.  Oh, and the music. It's totally about the music. Probably.

I'd like to kill and eat kidnap and put in a cupboard meet Jason Statham.  He's a handsome individual and although he seems to exhibit staunchly heterosexual behaviour at present I fail to see how he could resist falling for a hairy tubby balding DJ with a Dannii Minogue obsession.  Dudes totally dig that shizz.  And Seb Statham has a nice ring to it. 

Finally I'd like to overcome depression and anxiety.  Imagine how annoying I could be then, feeling all happy and together.  And I could probably go outside and collect the underpants that have faded to nothing on the washing line.  Yes. I aim high. 

I thought I'd continue the thread from my previous post with the picture of my Mum - here's a shot of me at 21.  This was taken by a very talented photographer named Philip Paratore.  You can check out more of his work at his site, Fotochic.  The shirt I'm wearing was made by designer and stylist Philip Boon, who was my partner at the time. You can check out his blog, 'Stylist Says' here.  There were some other shots taken later in colour on the same day but I like the black and white best.  Here's to good lighting and wide collars, people!

Here's a selection of the incredible people I've been lucky enough to meet through my work as a club DJ.  A lot of people assume you wouldn't forge close or worthwhile relationships working in Nightclubs but the opposite proved to be the case for me. 

This is one of my favourite shots. Taken at Connections Nightclub before the opening of a 'Studio 54' party.  That's me on the left, on the right my friend Mel.  She worked as a dancer and performer and is - as you can see here - absolutely stunning.  She graciously agreed to be pimped by me for this picture. Bitch still owes me 25% too. Don't MAKE me hit you with my RING HAND!

Another Connections pic, this time with my gorgeous friend Nicole.  She's always been so supportive of me and still comes to see me when I venture out of my cave to spin somewhere.  She's also been there for me more times than I can count and along with her partner Sean and our friend Brian is responsible for helping me get through some of the most difficult times of my life.  She also makes the most phenomenal Rocky Road I've ever had.  (Behind the scenes gossip - I was so drunk this night that just after this pic was taken I fell asleep upstairs in the DJ booth.  They left me there, locked up the club and went home, the lovely peeps. Oh and in case you're wondering, the alarm there is LOUD).

This is a pic from waaaay back in the mid 90's at one of my earliest gigs.  The beautiful redhead on the left is Kirsten, who always came to hear me play even though she hated clubs and was more into Marilyn Manson than the bouncy house music I played.  Note my pathetic attempt at a goatee coupled with home-bleached hair.  Pretty sure I thought I was in Ace of Base at the time.  Bless Kirsten for never mentioning my fashion faux pas. She now lives in Melbourne and no doubt still twitches should 'The Sign' come on the radio.

Another pic from Connections, this time taken during rehearsals for a show.  Because the DJ box was upstairs, for tech runs one of us would have to sit upstairs for hours on end pressing 'Play' on the show cd.  We didn't even have Twitter back in those days to amuse ourselves so it was torture.  Pictured to the right of me is Suell (short for SueEllen) who I originally met when she was dancing at a club I used to play at called 'Pink'.  She was dressed as a mini Kylie Minogue and was such an incredible dancer that I left the DJ box mid song to go and say hello.  Unfortunately at that time someone also decided to fall on the front of the console, knocking the needle skidding across the record and leaving 400 people standing there in silence while I yelled "YOU LOOK (record stops)...FUCKING HOT! Oh. Excuse me."  She spent the rest of the night taking the piss out of me and we became firm friends.  She has such an amazing heart and I don't know anyone that doesn't adore her.

Yet another Connections shot - up in the DJ box circa 2005.  To my left is 'Sheila Mann', drag diva extraordinaire.  I'm still close with her alter ego James to this day.  He has a sense of humour exactly like mine so almost every conversation is peppered with random observations and downright filth.  He's a trained dancer so his drag performances were always amazing and his style was incredible.  Combined with the amazing sets and dancers at the club it was often like watching a music video, only live. James was also around when I started to develop really bad anxiety and would make sure I kept my sense of humour about the situation while never making light of what I was going through.  

A more recent pic now, taken at the Court Hotel in 2009.  This shot always makes me laugh.  On the left is Chad, who I met through a mutual friend and ended up becoming close with over the summer of 09/10.  He always has so much energy and would come and hang out in the DJ box during my longer sets (4 hours plus) and we'd play with the crowd, set the strobe to 'Warning : Epilepsy' and make up ridiculous interpretive dance moves to the lyrics of songs.  'When Love Takes Over' was a particular favourite.  Chad is also my go-to date when I need a plus one for anything. 

Back to Connections in 2004 now.  Next to me is Gavin, who was Assistant Manager at the time, and is now the Manger.  He's hilarious, incredibly supportive and kept me sane throughout my 10 years at the club.  We used to run a Wednesday night together that each week changed theme to represent one of the Seven Deadly Sins. My favourite memory of those nights was the two of us on our hands and knees with buckets of warm soapy water and a scraper, trying to remove fake money we'd attached to the dance floor with spray glue earlier in the day.  By this time we'd both been working since 1pm, it was close to 5am and we were completely exhausted.  We were singing pop songs in a thick Irish accent, weakly scraping at those damn fake banknotes and laughing deliriously. We were so scared of the cleaners we stayed back until every last trace was removed.  We learned a valuable lesson and were a little less enthusiastic with decorating the room in subsequent weeks. And just so I can name drop, on the right isPrincess Julia, a DJ from London who was part of the 80's 'New Romantic' movement and was in the original video of 'Fade To Grey' by Visage. She played at a party called 'Bitch' with Mark Moore of S'Express.  My claim to fame is that they wanted to see my house, so we spent an afternoon there going through my record collection and I made them sandwiches. </bragging>.

I've already introduced you to my superstar DJ cousin Stuart (left) in my last 'pictures of your friends' post (Day Three - here) but I couldn't resist posting this shot of the two of us here - we were DJing together at a men-only dance party (I think it was called Manifold or something equally witty) and for some unknown reason I decided to dress as a policeman.  It was a pretty realistic uniform and I scared some of the patrons later in the night when I went to the bar to get us some drinks.  They practically ran.  I didn't take it personally though.  I mean, I cried but that was pretty normal! 

Happy - Nothing beats a sunny day spent driving around with MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This' at high volume. At least one window needs to be down and there's bonus points if people in other cars smile at your car dancing technique.  Ultimate win is achieved if you pull up at a red light to coincide perfectly with 'Stop! HAMMER TIME!'.

Sad - I find a lot of beauty in melancholy and there's no song that reflects this better than Nina Simone's cover of Jacque Brel's 'Ne Me Quitte Pas'.  I first discovered this when it was used to great effect in a Pedro Almodovar film (Law Of Desire) and have loved it ever since. 

Bored - Eighties music.  Pure pop.  Ridiculous tracks like Toto Coelo's 'I Eat Cannibals' and Haysi Fantayzee's 'Shiny Shiny' with a bit of Duran Duran and Bananarama thrown in for good measure.  Also extremely good to clean to. 

Hyped - So much falls under this category.  Anything that provides an amazing memory or is filled with enough energy to match my mood. I've been lucky enough to get recordings of some of the major gigs I've DJ'd and remembering the crowd and the atmosphere while listening to them makes me bounce around the room like a deranged loon.

Mad - I don't have any particular track or genre that fits this. I found out my partner of two years was cheating on me around the time Madison Avenue's 'Who The Hell Are You' came out.  For about a year afterwards every time I saw him at one of the venues I played, on would come Madison Avenue.  Petty, but it certainly helped.  And yes, he did notice I was doing it.  Eventually. I never said i went for the smart ones. </bitterness>

Here they are, in all their glory:

- Take lunch to work every day from the 11th October to the 11th November.  Not only is this going to be a lot healthier it's going to save some of my hard earned dollars. So I can buy more Daleks.  Or pay more of my debts off. Pretty sure it's going to be Daleks. And by 'sure' I mean 'I've already ordered them online'.

- Read every day.  No time limit.  I was a very avid reader and I've gotten out of the habit.  I have a stack of books that I'm dying to read so this is the month to get into them.  I haven't set a time limit on reading because it's something I want to enjoy and if one day it's a paragraph and the next it's 200 pages it's still time well spent. Unless they're from the Twilight series.  Only kidding, I'm totally team Greg. He's one of the characters, right?

- 10.30pm Bedtime during the week.  I get up between 5 and 5.30am every day.  I've been going to bed at 12.30-1am most nights.  When I get up I'm often grumpy and look like I've been hit repeatedly in the face with a bag of hot coins.  Big ones.  MOAR SLEEPS.

If I can achieve these I'll be a very happy blogger indeed.

Although I've become a fan of Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman as I've gotten older, my all time favourite super hero is without a doubt Hong Kong Phooey.  Five year old me was completely captivated by the adventures of Penrod Pooch, the police station janitor who could jump into a filing cabinet and emerge a kung-fu crimefighter.  

I still remember watching the show while eating red jelly and sitting in front of a portable air cooler at my grandparent's house, singing loudly to the theme tune and laughing my head off at Phooey's antics.

In a scenario borrowed from Get Smart and later used to great effect in the 80's animated show Inspector Gadget, Phooey was completely uncoordinated and usually ended up causing more damage and destruction than the criminals he pursued.  His success was completely due to his long suffering sidekick Spot, a cheshire-like cat who solved the crimes but remained happy to let his 'boss' take all the credit.

My Dad bought me a Phooey plush doll, a lunchbox and a t-shirt, and I could often be seen karate chopping my way across the front lawn with a bandit mask on and a makeshift belt stolen from my Mum's dressing gown.

I never did get the quick change filing cabinet I requested for my birthday but the lady across the road did make me an incredible Phooey cake and I was the happiest kid in town.

This is an easy one.  Procrastinating.  I procrastinate in the morning when I wake up.  I have a good procrastinate in the shower.  I'll procrastinate throughout the day, in full view of everyone like some kind of kinky delay-tactic pervert.  Then I'll be at home, late at night and I just can't get off to sleep without a long, hard sweaty procrastinate.

I think I may in fact be a procrastaholic.  I need a 12 step program.  Or an 11 step program.  I'll decide later. 

At school I was always the student sitting up all through the night trying to finish an assignment started that afternoon and actually due the day before.  

As an adult I avoid difficult tasks like getting back to people, leaving the house, becoming Australia's Next Top Model and depositing a bank cheque from October 2009.  

A lot of it is fear related (cue doing a wee in the corner and whimpering) because I roll like that (see Day One, Fact 9) but that doesn't make the fact that I put off until the eleventy-sixteenth of Octember what I could do today.

And if I have to say no to someone, I am king procrastinator.  You'll die of old age before I can get it together enough to let you know I can't make it to your art exhibition/club night/bar mitzvah/public flogging.  I will mean to get around to it, but then will be overcome with the sudden urge to reorganise all of my Bananarama records in order of hairstyle and fabulousness.  And that could take days, if not until a week after your party when you think you see me on the street but you're not to sure because I ran off around the corner, muppet arms flailing as soon as I spotted you.

So yes, I wish I could stop procrastinating.  I envy amateurcrastinators. You don't know how good you have it.

Bunny-Fu is an ancient and revered fluffy martial art first created by Twitter icon and Duck visionary @nzJayZee in 2010.  The idea was inspired by a story penned by brilliant Twitter auteur @londonjustin called 'Bunnies'.  You can read this short horror piece at Smashwords.  Also check out his blog Ed Price Is Hungry.  Both of these men prove the long supported theory that all people named Justin are indeed both awesome and good at ham. 

01.  I am an only child.  Family lore has it that two sleepless days and nights after I was brought home from the hospital my Dad decided infants with a 12 octave vocal range weren't his thing and snuck out to book a vasectomy.

02. I'm gay and have known I was from age 12 or so.  I've never been interested in girls and nearly vomited after an unexpected french kiss with a girl called Natasha on our Year 8 river cruise.  I'd just leaned in to tell her how much I liked Bananarama and before I could say 'I know all the dance moves to Venus' I had a mouthful of braces and tongue.

03. I grew up in a country town where I was noticeably different to the other kids my age and could often be seen sprinting along streets at lightning speeds, closely followed by a pack of classmates wielding A-Team rulers and open tins of baked beans.  To this day my worst nightmare is being invited to Mr T's house for an all you can eat legume themed buffet.

04.  I wanted to be an actor from a very early age and reached the dizzying heights of playing a plank of wood from a picket fence like it was an electric guitar in a Bunnings commercial in 1989.

05.  I was a rapper in a truly awful electronic band called 'Lurex Groove' with a five foot redheaded lesbian who later became a hooker.  

06. I recorded guest vocals on a house track called 'The Trip' by DJ Kulture in 1994.  It was shopped around a few record companies but ultimately couldn't get signed because it would be too expensive to clear the multitude of samples it contained, among them 'Helyom Halib' by Cappella and 'The Message' by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

07. Although I was a little too tall at 6'5" I signed with a model agency in the late 80's and booked a bit of work, appearing in Revelation magazine and a few parades for local designers.  I enjoyed it but it didn't amount to much, aside from a portfolio with a few photos I can bring out to show people so they can look at them, at me, then back at the photos before asking "What happ... um, I mean you look very differen... um.. more wine?"

08. I've worked on and off as a professional DJ for 17 years.  My first big gig was a warehouse party playing 11pm-midnight to 1500 people.  I vomited before the gig and was shaking so much I could barely put the needle on my first record.

09. I'm agoraphobic and my biggest issue is being in supermarkets.  I've not been able to successfully shop in one without assistance for close to ten years.  I've worked with two psychologists had hypnotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy to overcome a lot of other issues but have yet to conquer Coles.  Fuck you, Curtis Stone.

10.  My favourite track of all time is Donna Summer's 'I Feel Love' and I've played it at hundreds of gigs during the years.  Despite being over 30 years old it still sounds incredible on a big sound system.

11. When I was 10 my cousins and I choreographed a dance routine to 'Knock on Wood' which we performed on the front porch of the house with tinsel curtains strapped to our heads so we had silver disco hair extensions.  Despite this and several dozen other indications throughout childhood my Mum was still shocked when I came out to her years later.

12. When I was 15 my best friend Melissa convinced me to tell my Mum I was a flaming homosexual.  Melissa was heavily pregnant at the time with her boyfriend Charlie's baby and came along for added moral support.  I started to cry and my voice was so high pitched and strangulated that when I eventually got out the words 'Mum, I'm GAY' she thought I said 'Mum, I'm ENGAGED' and flipped out, yelling that it wasn't my baby and screamed at Melissa to get out of the house.  The next two hours were like World War 3 and I didn't dare correct her.  I waited three years until I tried again and went with the less classy 'I like men'.  She got the message that time and she's been nothing but supportive ever since.  (Strangely enough when I told her about the mix up when I was younger she didn't find it amusing in the least.)

13. I worked as an Executive Producer at Groove FM (a youth radio station that played mainly Hip Hop and R&B) for two years. Three weeks after getting the job I had a huge argument with a very rude and aggressive promoter who had brought a US act he was touring in for an interview. When it almost came to blows I pulled the interview by throwing him and his act (someone called DJ Muggs) out of the station and told him I didn't give a fuck who he thought he was, he was nothing if he was going to behave like an idiot.  The group he had with him stayed quiet but gave me death stares as they left.  I was very shaken after the altercation but kept a brave face until one of the younger staff I had just thrown out half of Cypress Hill.  I made one of the 18 year old announcers walk me to my car that night just in case.  She was more than happy to oblige.

14. I've done a lot of voiceover work and can do a range of accents and goofy voices.  Testament to this is one of my Grandmother's favourite stories from my youth.  One afternoon she heard three kids yelling at each other from her backyard.  She went outside to find me with a pair of pantyhose over my head, pretending to mug two other imaginary kids for their lunch money.   

15. I have two other blogs. One is about my career as a DJ ( www.sebsharp.com ) and the other is about my struggles with depression and anxiety ( www.projectseb.com ). Both are written with a lot of humour and the latter is designed to connect with others in the same situation and possibly offer a bit of help along with a healthy dose of me whining about how scary Coles is and how punching Curtis Stone might not be such a bad idea. 

What better way to start a new blog than an *exciting* 30 Day Challenge! There's no better way, right?  Well, aside from possibly writing some original content but it's a long weekend and I really can't be bothered. So there.

There's a list to follow and there don't appear to be any rules aside from general common sense, such don't leave a baby zebra unattended in your bedroom so it seems this is going to be a cinch.

And then you, gentle reader, can visit each day to find exciting, nay thrilling new content and develop a compulsion to click on the link you're no doubt saving in your browser as we speak... as I type...  as you read...   fuck it , guaranteeing me future FAME and PROFIT or at least a TELLING OFF FROM MUM FOR BEING SUCH A SHOW OFF.

Here's how it works  - post every day for 30 days :

day 1- a recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to

day 6- favorite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

day 12- how you found out about blogging and why you have one

day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently

day 14- a picture of you and your family

day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- another picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

day 23- something you crave a lot

day 24- a letter to your parents

day 25- what I would find in your bag

day 26- what do you think about your friends

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

day 30- your favorite song
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Let the blog times roll!